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08:49pm 01/11/2006
  wow i have seriously not been on here in forever.

anyways... now I'm a first year medical student at the IU School of Medicine. I am in bloomington for the first 2 years and then finishing up the last 2 in indianapolis.

I like my classmates, we all get along well, and despite all the hard work and intense med school craziness... we have a lot of fun together.

things are going well for the most part.

that is all for now.. back to studying for my upcoming gross anatomy exam.. yey.
 
     

(read me the letter baby)

 
thoughts and reflections   
12:25am 10/12/2005
 
mood: chipper
music: jon mclaughlin- blue skies
I am completely done with classes as an undergraduate.. i have a physiology final on monday, human disease and epi final on tuesday, and my final project paper for social psych lab. so much work, but i am going to take it a bit at a time and do my best.. and then i am done with college. I will be graduating next saturday.. with a BA in Psychology and a BS in Biology.. 3.5 years? = not bad. I feel happy, i feel like i made the best out of 3.5 years of classes, i took fun classes that interested me ( gender sexuality and pop culture, human sexuality, rock music, ballroom dance, etc.. ), i challenged myself academically, and i am finishing undergrad with genuine excitement to pursue my education even further. What makes me really happy is that... I came to college knowing that I wanted to be a doctor ( since age 4) and with every class i took i saw people give up on wanting to be doctors.. and I stayed with it, and I can honestly say that after much thinking, experiencing, and soul searching over the past 3.5 years.. i have never been more sure of the fact that my heart is in medicine, and that is what I want to devote my life's work to.

the other big thing for me is the connection i feel to IU. This is something that i truly never expected to have. I have always felt at home at IU, even from the first time i stepped on to campus as a senior in high school , the day i came to visit my friend at the time. I could have never known that I would be finishign my education feeling more than just 1 out of 38,000 students. Union Board has given me so much in return for the dedication i have shown the organization. I have formed life long bonds and friendships, I have had the chance to get to know the dean, the director of the union, the chancellor, other student leaders. I can't express how important my directorship has been to me. It makes me feel so happy to know that at least every 2 years i have a home a place to come back to, where i will be surrounded by people and a reminder of an experience that has influenced my life so much.

I truly think that everything happens for a reason in life. It is really hard to see reasons for certain things at the times that things happen, but I have taken everything that I have experienced in my time at IU ( good and bad) and learned from it and matured. I am far from that girl that moved into Read her freshman year and started her journey at college. I have many things that I feel that I can only continue to improve about myself, and I plan to do it.

I've stayed true to myself, I worked hard, I played harder, I cried so many tears, I laughed countless laughs, I lost friends, I gained soul mates, I can go on forever, but I can sum it up with ...I found myself. I know that may sound cheesy and cliche.. but the most important thing is that I know what it means to me.

Eventhough this chapter is ending.. i feel like my life is just starting.

I love everyone who has made my time at IU special and unforgettable.

Good night:)
 
     

(8words | read me the letter baby)

 
   
08:04pm 19/10/2005
 
mood: calm
music: beth orton and ryan adams- concrete sky
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:

I choose Ryan Adams ( of course)

Are you male or female:
Nobody girl

Describe yourself:
famous eyes

How do some people feel about you:
sweet lil gal


How do you feel about yourself:
Blue and Shy


Describe your current crush:
my california love

Describe where you want to be:
california

Describe what you want to be:
movie star girl

Describe how you live:
life is beautiful

Describe how you love:
perfect and true

Share a few words of wisdom:
chin up, cheer up
 
     

(2words | read me the letter baby)

 
   
11:22pm 18/10/2005
 
mood: wilco
Been awhile since an update.... I am going to structure this differently. Two categories: Things that have made me happy and things that have made me unhappy.

Things that have made me unhappy:

My complete lack of a work ethic has left me in a slump.
I keep having these overwhelming feelings of everything i need to do, and the lack of motivation to do it. I really wish I could just be a dedicated student for a semester, and not make myself scramble all the time to do mediocre work. I also need/ want to find a job for next semester that will challenge me, and that will somehow benefit me for my future career. ALl i want to do is just take everything slow and enjoy my last semester/year in bloomington.

Also, I am not happy with myself and my physical being right now. I always get this way, when i know i haven't been working out and haven't been taking care of myself the way i like to be taken care of. I am changing that. I am going on a healthy eating diet and exercise plan starting tomorrow morning, and finishing with biennial. I want to feel good about myself and confident again. I am not eating sweets anymore, as well as bread. I will eat good carbs,good fats, veggies, and fruits. I hope to feel like i did this summer again shortly.


Things that have made me happy:

Music. I love it, I am still continuously listening to ryan adams every day. I adore him, and you should too. Right now I am getting into Wilco. They are a band that I have always known I would love, but have never given them the proper listen. Now I am working my way through being crazy about 2 of their albums ( A.M. and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot). I know you wilco fans are saying, you have to get summerteeth because its the best.. and i promise i will.


Making out. Totally unexpected last week. But seriously, it was the most comfortable, surprising, innocent, wonderfully romantic and sexy thing. Making out is pretty harmless in my eyes, but it can make you feel really great and smile a lot for awhile after.

Joel coming to visit me from Canada in like 3 weeks. It is crazy and awesome and I am really excited. We had a sweet chemistry in mexico, and it is hard to believe that its been like 10 months since then and we still keep in touch very well. I can't wait to see him, and I hope it will be a wonderful time for both of us.

Biennial. This is the union board reunion that is coming up next month ( Nov. 19th) I am so excited! Jake Rohn my first concerts director ( 2003) called me the other day from LA, and let me know he was coming. That made me happy. I can't wait to see him, as well all the other kids coming in. I'm sad that Jeff won't be making it though.

My neighbors. Forrest and Andrew have become some of my most favorite people. I enjoy spending time with them so much. A couple weekends ago Andrew's parents came in for the weekend. I came out and met the neighbors,their friends and andrew's parents at festers and had a blast, hanging out, dancing, drinking, getting a jaeger bomb spilled all over my face... heh. and then that night we ended up dance partying for like 2 hours more. They are really nice guys, and they have a great group of guyfriends around, that I have enjoyed meeting and starting to get to know. It was also fun last friday to go with them to my old neighbors' ( the 529 boys) party. Anyways, I feel really at home at their house, and am thankful to have them around this year.


uhmm i guess that is all. I am tired, i should cook my food for tomorrow, read some physiology maybe and go to bed.
 
     

(read me the letter baby)

 
its the nighttime baby don't let go of my love   
02:48pm 06/10/2005
 
mood: gloomy
music: Josh Rouse- Saturday
oh what to say...

Last weekend was a pretty good time. Last thursday i went out to sports with the girls and keith after the board meeting and then met up with lauren and went to nicks. It was a pretty alright night, laced with some frustration, but oh well.

Friday, roomie lauren, kelly, and i went to Ty's party. I drank way too much of the yummy tasting punch, and was freaked out by some news, and so I felt ill for a couple days to follow.

Saturday, the parents came for family weekend. We had a really great time together. I always have fun with my parents, the older I get the more we become just like friends. After the tour, and family dinner, my parents, lauren and I went to Nicks. Nick's was fun. We played pool, darts, and I even convinced my parents to play some sink the biz. That was so fun. They are not big drinkers, and especially not beer drinkers, but they were such good sports and I have amazing pictures.

Sunday was nice and relaxed, and it was spent recouperating. It is always a good sunday when the colts win :-). 4-0 baby.

This week so far has flown by so fast. I have continued to get by on doing very minimal studying and work. Its a weird and unsettling feeling. I can't believe that in a couple months I will be finishing my undergraduate education. Too crazy for words.


In other happenings.. eleni came over monday night for a few hours. It was so nice to see her and catch up and reminisce. I miss last year so much. Sure there were times of mild tension in the house, but I will always look back on the experience with my 3 roomies as wonderful. We were crazy and fun, and most of all we were together. I like my house this year, and I feel at peace.. but I don't feel the same closeness, comfort, and love as i did last year. Sometimes I feel like a stranger, and that is hard. Last year.. no matter what came about, no matter what bothered us about each other we would still walk away knowing that we cared and loved each other as roomies and sisters. I miss Kathleeny.. who i still can't believe that after 3 years we aren't roomies, but I am happy for her that she is in Rome fulfilling her dream. I miss Pittman, and how wonderful our bond was. It wasn't something that we had to display all the time, but it was there. That last week that pittman was in btown last summer, was wonderful, and I'm happy we had that closing time together, just the two of us, in our most raw , crazy funness. I miss eleni, and am happy that she is around, and feels the same way I do.

One awesome thing though is that I have been getting to know my neighbors Forrest and Andrew better. They are so fun, and I really enjoy them. I am looking forward to many awesome neighborly times this year.


I am feeling kinda down at this moment. Down and frustrated. I suppose I bring it on myself, because I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I am missing having a close someone a lot. A lot of my closest people have spread out. Kathleeny- Rome, Lizzle- OSU , Jeff- Monterey, Adam Ramsey- New York.. and so on so on I suppose that is just how things go, people grow up, and move away, but accepting that doens't make it better.

I think that is enough bumminess for one afternoon.
 
     

(read me the letter baby)

 
just can't find the time, to write my mind, the way i want it to be read...   
06:13am 29/09/2005
 
mood: chipper
music: Wilco- Passenger Side
Update:

Kings of Leon last week was so much fun. Lauren and I went, and bumped into david and his buddies. We had a really fun time dancing around. It was packed, and I was getting stepped on, and thrown around, and I absolutely love that.

Last wednesday was roomie Katie's 21st birthday. We took her out, and showed her a good time. I didn't drink a sip, and managed to have a really enjoyable evening. It was great to see her enjoying her first time at the bars.

Most of the last week was spent with me being sick, and studying for the dreadful physiology exam.

Physiology was alright, not as bad as I had imagined, but there is definitely room for improvement there. Michael, Z, and I went to kilroys after the exam... and destressed( they drank, i destressed). I think this is going to be a tradition. While at kilorys I all of a sudden felt really awful, so the rest of friday was spent in bed, trying to get better.

Friday Night turned out to be fun, and it was really nice to have some company on a night where i wanted to go out but knew i had to stay in. I was thankful for the soup/sprite/cd delivery guy. :-)

Saturday , was more resting up. I spent the night with roomie Lauren, watching a sappy movie.

That weekend was exactly what I needed, because by sunday I started to feel a lot better.

Christen came to visit from Cinci... before she left for her Europe trip. We all met at Yogi's hung out, watched the football game ( GO Colts!!), and it was just really great to see her before she left.

This week so far, has been jam packed with studying for exams, and quizzes and now that it is Thursday I am finally able to relax for the first time in 2 weeks.

I had a great time at the alley bar on monday, with my co and his friends, and having some drinks in honor of Boo's Birthday.

Some other random things. Jacksonville City Nights came out on Tuesday!... It was a lovely Ryan day. I was so excited to get the 20 min DVD, and I just love this man. This is a wonderful cd, and definitely on of my favorite ones of his.

I want to give a couple shouts:

Lauren.. aka LaLa Clemmons. You are so wonderful, and have been such a great friend. I enjoy all the time we spend together. I am very thankful for our friendship, your advice, your support, and your company.

Zainy... you rock my socks! I have so much fun with you...whether its out at the bars, or lazy mondays on kirkwood, or even studying for hours for our exams. Its wonderful to have someone who understands where you are coming from, especially in this time.. where every day we doubt our future. I know you know what I mean about that. " YOu want some of this??"

..... finally.. I talked to Kathleeny for awhile today. I miss her so much. It is crazy to think that she is in Rome, and that we are not living together. It's unreal to think, that we spent 3 years as roomies. She is my sister, and I can't wait to see her when she comes back.


Things to look forward to: Going out this weekend, and letting looooose... and UB family weekend on saturday... sink the biz with the parentals and lauren. Oh the crazy times.
 
     

(read me the letter baby)

 
jackson- hell how you play with my mind....   
10:36pm 18/09/2005
 
mood: chipper
music: Ryan Adams- Hard Way to Fall
ohh what to say.

the last couple of days have been pretty wonderful.

Friday:

helped out with the Katrina benefit for awhile.. and then got ready to go to Eleni's surprise dinner.

The dinner was amazing. I give major props to Mary and Jes, for all their hard work. Everything from start to finish was very classy, enjoyable, and most of all delicious. It was really fun and pleasant to hang out with everyone that was there. I haven't seen some of the people in a while and it was great to see them. There were so many wonderful moments through out the night. Pitty came for the occasion, and it was so nice to have old roomie bonding time with Pitty and Eleni ( sans Kathleeners) on the porch. After the wonderful dinner, we all piled into cars and headed over to a party for a little bit.
Didn't stay long. Pitty, Nate, Bradley, and Laura and I all went to Nick's. Sat downstairs in the booth, played sink the biz, and just relaxed. I had so much fun with this group. It made me smile when Nate called Jeff, and passed around the phone so we could all say hi. After Nick's , Pitty Nate and I parted ways with Bradley and Laura and we headed to some other bars. I was completely exhausted and pretty worthless at that time, but I know Pitty and Nate had fun.

Saturday, my wonderful parents came down and brought me medicine. We hung out for a while, went out to lunch, and then they headed back home.

I spent the better part of satudray afternoon at a table out side of starbucks on indiana , drinking chamomile and getting through some Physiology reading. Anna came by, and we sat and caught up for awhile. That was very nice.

Saturday night, I went to David Spade. The show was pretty fun and I enjoyed myself. After Spade, I headed home and then Lauren, Kelly and I headed over to BA and Dimatt's place. It was very chill there, and I had a fun time. Those boys are really fun to be around. We left there, and headed back to the house. Our law school neighbors were having people over as usual. Old neighbor Colin ended up showing up.. and Neighbor Andrew and I teamed up and played Colin and his friend in Beer Die. I love this game. We didn't keep track of the score what so ever, and played for a long long time. Needless to say, my light weight self had a little too much beer, but I was a trooper. I had such a great time. It was fun to bond with the new neighbors and old neighbor colin.


also a big thing this weekend.. was getting the full Jacksonville City Nights. Thanks to an out of the blue message from Patrick. Funny how things happen... but it feels nice to talk again.

So about JCN:

I am absolutely in love. I loved cold roses of course.. But JCN is just amazing. The whole album flows beautifully. I don't know how I could ever love anyone's music more than Ryan's.

today was a rough day. I am trying to fight this cold. I am taking medicine regularly, but my drinking last night was most definitely the stupidest thing i could have done for my self. I payed for it today by feeling miserable. Only thing to get me through was a lot of new music.

I am incredibly obsessed with music in general. I can sit for hours, just getting more and more songs, and listening and reading lyrics. I always wondered where I got this from..and it was so apparent this weekend. My dad is sitting on my computer... looking up russian artists that he listens to. Playing them, again and again. Telling me stories about their history. Like father like daughter.

okay this was definitely a long enough entry. Time for some nyquil and sleep :-)

Kings of Leon tomorrow night!:-)

p.s. Rams- Thanks for your lovely message on my facebook wall.. so glad you are doing well in NY. Miss you, love you.
 
     

(1word | read me the letter baby)

 
oh boy   
11:05pm 13/09/2005
 
mood: Somber
music: Ryan Adams- Miss Sunflower
time for an update.


well last week was a great and eventful week.

Last monday:

Adam Ramsey came down to visit and say good bye before he moved to New York last thursday. We called up Margie who was excited to meet up to go out. The three of us headed to Kilroys and had absolutely the most wonderful time. It makes me so happy that the 3 of us can not see each other for a long time, and get back together and its like we are back at Read freshman year as if nothing changed ( although so much has). I love those two so incredibly much. We pretty much spent the whole night chilling in a booth, amusing ourselves, taking a million and a half pictures ( which turned out amazing), dancing, drinking, playing corn hole. When Rams said bye to me the next day, I wanted to cry, and be sad.. but I felt like I had no tears left in me. I think I exeuted all my tears when Buddy moved away last summer. Rams and I have always had the kind of connection where no matter where we are we don't feel far away from each other. I can't really put into words how special the time with rams and margie was, but I know that each one of us felt it.

Wednesday:

Interview at IU School of Medicine. Crazy day. I was nervous.. really glad that my interview was early in the morning. My interviewer was a very nice guy, intelligent, kind, but still asked some serious and thought provoking questions. He made me feel like he felt positive about me as a candidate and that he will present my case to the committee well. I loved seeing the campus, seeing and talking to the med students. I really hope that I end up at the medical school, and that I will be able to handle everything that goes along with being a med student.


Thursday:

Board meeting.. yey for passing a proposal. Had a great time after the meeting going to scotty's for a pitcher of berryweiss with Kathleen and Elizabeth. I think this is going to be a tradition coming.

Friday:

Sarah came to visit from michigan. Sar is one cool chick, and it makes me feel really special that she drove 5 hours to spend the weekend with me. She is one of my oldest friends, even though we've never lived in the same place. We went out to dinner friday night, and then out to the bars. Adventures were had. It was a nice relaxing time. We sat outside at a table at kilroys for a long while and had quite a few laughs.

Saturday we spent the day in downtown Indy with my parents and their friends who came to visit. We did some touristy things, walked around, and then headed home to carmel to relax. It feels good to be at home. Sar and I chowed down on a lot of russian food and then headed back to Btown for the night.

Saturday night we went out again. Met up with Conor who was down for the night as well. This was a really fun night. Sunday we had our traditional farewell breakfast at village deli and then sar headed off.

So in summary.. I feel really lucky to have had time to spend with some very dear friends last week.

This week so far has been a bit dissapointing. I don't know where my motivation has gone. I have been going to sleep very early, and not getting but just the bare minimum of work done. This has to stop. Hopefully it will. On a better note.. I love running around the neighborhood at night with the roomies.

On an even better note.... I now have 7 songs from ryan's new Jacksonville City Nights.. and 8- 1 minute clips of the other songs. Very very honky tonk... but wonderful none the less.

Things to look forward to:

david spade on saturday and kings of leon next monday.

that is all .
 
     

(read me the letter baby)

 
its been awhile   
06:48pm 03/09/2005
 
mood: chipper
music: Sister Jack- Spoon
wow i haven't updated in so long.

Since I last wrote... many things have happened.

Finished up work.. gladly and got ready to move to btown. Spent a wonderful 3 days in my old house on 1st and Henderson.. with the original roomies.. Kathleen, Eleni, Kristina and I. We had a blast, cleaning things up, moving things out... and just being together. It felt so much like that first week that we moved in now more than a year ago. Some of the best times that weekend were... making smores using our little grill and our knives as sticks.. on our front porch at 3 am... sleeping on the floor together, one last time together on the roof... and setting up all our living room furniture on the driveway and relaxing. I really felt like things came full circle and for those 3 days it seemed that nothing mattered but being together in that experience.

I moved into my new house on university and henderson and I am quite fond of the house. Its very cute, and has a lot of potential to look wonderful. We have a lot of neighbors and I am sad to say that I haven't made quite the effort to meet all of them yet. We did start talking to our neighbors behind us, and they are all 3rd year law school students. THey are nice guys, and I think it will be fun to live next to them. I hope to be more social in the neighborhood and meet more neighbors.

Speaking of neighbors..its been good to see my old neighbors... colin and nick. THey are quite the fun.

The two weeks before school started were filled with a lot of fun and care free times. Taking advantage of the bar scene and finally being 21, going to a party that turned out to be a crazy amazing time, and just having way too much fun. I've had a blast going out with zainab and her friends, as well as Lauren and Grobes, and others.

School started last week, and I am feeling okay about it. I thought i'd be more excited to be in my classes, and unfortunately I haven't really felt like diving in just yet. I am not sure how physiology is going to turn out... the professor is very nice, but she has a weird structure to the class, where we spend most every day working in teams and doing little work sheet things. We shall see how this turns out. I had fun times in Cell Bio lab last week, passing notes with dimatts, ba, janet and tim. Its really nice to be a senior and to realize that you know so many people in your major, and now that we are all in the process of applying to medical and other grad schools, it feels like everyone is in it together.


Things with UB are going well... we passed 3 proposals through the board this past thursday... and one of which means that.. we are completely on board with Bright Eyes, and that will be a wonderful show on November 13th. I know that people on the committee are going to be excited and that makes me happy. Also, I hope other things work out for the fall as well concert wise.

Finally.. yesterday I left for retreat with my board. When we got to 4 winds and saw how beautiful the surroundings were, i knew that we would instantly have an awesome time. We had a very very tasty dinner, some sessions, and then we all got in the pool. We played keep away.. 6 on 6.. and we were all so into it, and so scrappy, that lasted for a couple hours.. and then we got dried up and some of us went down to the bar and the girls danced and we all had a good time. THe night rounded off with some bonding time and conversations.

Today.. we woke up had some yummy breakfaast and then did some more sessions. Following that, we headed out to the dock... and split up into 2 pontoon boats. We took those out , and had such a wonderful time. The weather could just not have been more perfect. We drove around lake monroe, swam, relaxed, pigged out on junk food, and just had the most fun and relaxing afternoon in the gorgeous weather. I could not have been happier with how retreat went this weekend. I really do love this about our board.. that no matter what may be going on, we all have a wonderful time with each other, and like each other.

I think that wraps up the past month from me... this week coming up is a big week for me, and I am excited and ready to tackle it.

In conclusion I have heard 5 songs off of Ryan Adams and the cardinals' new album.. Jacksonville City Nights.. and they are so goood. I am so excited to get the whole thing when it comes out.
 
     

(1word | read me the letter baby)

 
steady my soul ease my worry...   
06:38am 01/08/2005
 
music: Ryan Adams- When Will You Come Back Home
hey hey all.. i think it is time for an update.


It is 6:40 am. i just walked in after a 3 day 21st birthday get away to Las Vegas. The trip was a good good time. I really enjoyed walking around and looking at the beautiful casinos. One of the biggest high lights was when we went to see a show called.. We Will Rock You.. its a show that is set to the music of Queen. I love queen, and I enjoyed that all of my favorite queen songs made it into the show. The singing and choreography was excellent. One of the best parts of vegas was playing in the casino. I would like to say that I despise with great passion.. slot machines. My gambling mechanism of choice is Roulette. I got lucky pretty often with roulette. My combined roulette winnings over the three days we were in vegas were over 300 dollars. I would always just start out with one 5 dollar chip, or 5- 1 dollar chips and work my way up.
Overall vegas was a good time, I am very thankful for my parents for taking me, and I loved seeing my family from LA that came to vegas to celebrate with me. The only annoying part of this trip was the flying. I hate flying, and although I can tolerate it a few times a year.. this was the 5th time I have flown this year, and I can definitely say that I will not be planning any flights for the next 6 months at least. ( oh and also.. weirdly enough Mike Davis was on my flight back from Vegas).

the most wonderful part of turning 21 has been getting happy birthdays from all of my friends and family. THank you so much to everyone for the calls, facebook messages, text messages, e-mails and etc.. It made me happy to hear everyones nice words. Adam Ramsey's message on my cell phone was just wonderful.. and adam i know you know how much i adore you, but i am saying it again. I love you rams. It was wonderful to hear from my friends who aren't at IU/Indiana anymore as well. It was a great surprise to hear from Jake and made me happy. I also enjoyed my Co's touching facebook message, hehe :-) Thanks a lot to everyone, you made me smile all weekend.

I guess that is all about vegas and the birthday weekend. I can;'t wait to feel being 21 when I get back to btown.

9 more work days:-)

Very excited to make the move to 525 E. University on august 15th..

thanks once again to everyone
 
     

(4words | read me the letter baby)

 
   
12:11am 21/07/2005
 
music: Kings of Leon- Happy Alone
there is a lot to write. But I am not in a mood to write a lot.

I have had a fun last few weeks. Had some great times with Katie Ly, going to concerts ( thanks to her internship connections), and just bumming around in clay terrace and etc.

work has been okay.. i am less frustrated with it some days.. and more frustrated others... over all I can't say i dislike the job. I dislike working 40 hours a week, and waking up every day at 6:30 am to get to work by 8. But so is life. Hopefully this is going to make it easier for me to get up and make it to my 9:05 classes next semester.

other than that.. there is a A LOT to look forward to in the next few weeks.

Saturday bright and early.. Sami and I are getting in the car and driving to chicago for a weekend of great music at lollapalooza. I am so psyched. It will be a fun time bonding with sami, as well as getting to see so many fun bands. Can't wait.. i love chicago.. and the weather is supposed to be hella hot but sunny. yeyyy.


Next friday... yours truly is turning 21 . I hate birthdays usually.. i always end up being in a bad mood on mine.. no matter what fun things i do. Somehow I feel like this birthday is going to be the best, and there will be no bad mood.. well maybe when i have to get on the airplane ( i hate flying).. but other than that I am so incredibly excited.

Friday morning I am getting on the plane to go to vegas for a long weekend. I think it will be a great time, and no better way to celebrate being 21.

after vegas there is only a couple weeks before my new lease at 525 E. University starts. I absolutely can't wait to start this year. I feel like its going to be the best ever.

I will write more later about my new outlooks on different things and more of my excited-ness :-) :-)

for right now its time to watch conan and fall asleep. Only 15 work days left.


Favorite Music: Kings of Leon ( and ryan adams forever).
 
     

(1word | read me the letter baby)

 
have to go work out.. so i'm wasting time   
10:08pm 14/07/2005
  1. what is the geekiest part of your music collection? it has to be all the backstreet boys cds i have from when i was 12 ( and no i have not bought the new one !)

2. what do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? cheese and blueberries

3. what is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? Boys and Girls -- i'm a sucker for Freddy Prinze Jr. hehe.

4. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? liposuction

5. do you have a completely irrational fear? driving in dark places that i am unfamiliar with.. i freak out

6. what is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? i fidget

7. are you a pyromaniac? nope

8. so you have too many love interests? not really many love interests.. maybe too many make out interests

9. do you know anyone famous? i have met quite a few famous people ... but not friends with any celebrities

10. describe your bed: bed at home: queen sized.. very comfortable..i love to stretch out. Bed at school.. small twin sized.. alright in the comfortableness.

11. are you spontaneous or planned? both.. when i am plannin on doing something special like going on a trip i like to have details planned out carefully.. but as far as every day life I am pretty spontaneous

12. who would play you in a movie? no clue.

13. do you know how to play poker? yes.. but i'm not good.

14. what do you carry with you at all times? my cell phone, keys, gum

15. what do you miss most about being a kid? being oblivious to the fragility of life

16. are you happy with your given name? sure. Although Lana isn't my full name.

17. how much money would it take to get you to give up the internet for one year? oh wow. Lots of money and a life partner so that i could fly away to an isolated island with him and have no access to the internet

18. what color is your bedroom? not white but some white like neutral tone

19. what was the last song you were listening to? i listened to ryan adams and phil lesh playing together

20. have you ever been in a play? a lot of them when i was younger

21. have you ever been in love? oi. i don't even know

22. do you talk a lot? yes

23. do you like yourself and believe in yourself? some of the time

24. do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? no, they just make me really sad

25. do you consider yourself to be a nice person? yeah pretty nice

26. do you spend more time with your bf/gf or your friends? well having no bf/gf .. i spend more time with friends

27. what is your ideal marriage location? outside, in california, beautiful weather, live music

28. which musical instrument do you wish you could play? drums!

29. favorite fabric? anything that feels nice and soft and comfortable on my skin

30. something you love and hate? having crushes

31. what kind of bedding do you use? cotton sheets?

32. what's the one language you want to learn? i want to learn spanish better, and several more

33. how do you eat an apple? really fast, in big bites.. and yes I eat the core.

34. what do you order at a bar? light beer... or white russians

35. have you ever pierced your body parts? my ears are pierced

36. do you have tattoos? nope againt my religion

37. do you drive a stick? no.. but i love driving stick shift cars

38. favorite trait of the opposite sex? not sure... but i sure do love the boys

39. what's one trait you hate in a person? when a person says they are your friend.. but then treats you with no respect

40. what kind of watch do you wear? its called my cell phone

41. most frivolous purchase? concert tickets

42. do you consider yourself materialistic? yes and no. I love having and buying things clothes cds books movies etc... but i don't look for people who have certain things or let those possesions define me.

43. what are you best at cooking? russian food. I love it.

44. favorite writing instrument? these specific bic pens with a specific little gripper thing.

45. do you prefer to stand out or blend in? stand out

46. would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? i could .. that might be amusing

47. what's one car you will never buy? a crappy one
.
48. what kind of books do you like to read? i really enjoy books written by doctors about their experiences in medicine

49. if you won the lottery, what would you do? save money so that i could pay for medical school right away.. and do something really nice for my parents

50. burial or cremation? don't like to think about that

51. what's one thing you like to do alone? relax and watch tv

52. are you a giver or a taker? a bit of both

53. when's the last time you cried? yesterday.. was bickering with my dad about cleaning my rooms, and he made me mad.

54. favorite communication method? lately.. text messaging.. so fun.

55. how many drinks before you're tipsy? i am a lighhhht weight... maybe 2-3 bud lights.. or a couple shots

56. do you think you're cute? occasionally

57. do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends? not really
 
     

(read me the letter baby)

 
i still miss someone.......   
11:02pm 29/06/2005
 
music: Jack Johnson- Crying Shame
start off with last saturday. Katie and I went to see fogerty and mellencamp at deer creek. The show kicked ass. We sang a long, cheered, danced like fools, and had a great time. I thoroughly enjoyed the show. After we left the show.. we ran into a bit of trouble with finding our way to the highway because deer creek cops are ridiculous and NO help at all. Poor katie was even threatened with arrest, if we didn't turn around.

Shopping.. I have done a lot of it lately. That is what happens when i start to feel good about myself.. and its the one thing that keeps me sane about gong to work every day. I have spent lots of money at victoria's secret.. and i love it. I love the feeling that you get from buying a sexy bra, even if no one is going to see it any time soon( hello where are the attractive men in indianapolis??)... ladies you all know what i mean. Also, I have been abusing Express. I bought a ridiculously awesome jean jacket, a couple tops, wonderful jeans, and some great dressy pants.

early friday, my family and i are leaving for philadelphia. I am so excited! I love seeing my family, all my cousins, i will get to see my new baby cousin maya as well who was born this past winter, i will see my twin cousins allen and samantha who are going to be intown from los angeles, as well as cousin Vlada, and hopefully i'll get to see my new york cousins.. felicia and ilana. It will be super super enjoyable and loud and crazy and a great time.

the last couple of days i have been doing a lot of work to get an offer ready to hopefully be passed by the board very soon. It is exciting, and fun.. and makes me remember why i wanted to be a concerts director in the first place.. I hope it will work out.. Ty and I have big plans for this semester.. and I really want to see us reach our goals and leave a good legacy.. the way that jeff and other past concert directors did.

talked to Jennifer Parks the other day. I love that woman.. i called my phone at the concerts desk, and she happened to pick up and we talked for a while. She totally understands how I feel about something. I miss her!

I have almost finished 4 books this summer. I am so proud.. this was one of my goals. I haven't been a reader for many years.. and i missed it. I have read My Sister's Keepr- Jodie Picoult, Complications- Atul Gwande, Me talk pretty one day- David Sedaris, and currently finishing up.. On Call- Emily Transue

i'm doing the whole.. read one medical and one non medical book. I love ON call.. its really raw and amazing.. and it really makes me hope that I will be able to handle med school and residency and all that you experience on a daily basis.. There is nothing like the field of medicine, and it is scary but incredibly exciting at the same time.

on another note

sometimes i just like to sit back and listen to ryan's voice. I am very much a lyrics person, so I usually focus on that.. but there are times where i just listen to ryan and pay attention to his voice.. and how wonderful it is, and how its never the same from one song to the next. I adore him. I got relix mag the other day, that has 2 great shots of him.. and i had them laminated... and they look really great.. i feel a little union board desk redecorating coming up for next year.
 
     

(1word | read me the letter baby)

 
   
09:40pm 28/06/2005
 
music: Ryan Adams- Game of Hearts
thanks jules for this amazing waste of my time

x. name = Lana
x. birthday = 7/29/84
x. piercings = my ears
x. tattoos = none- against my religion
x. height = 5'7
x. shoe size = 10
x. hair color = dark brown
x. hair length = its long.. but not reallly long
x. heritage = born in the Republic of Moldova.. parents both Moldavian.. Grandparents are Romanian, Ukranian, and Moldavian
x. eye color = hazle..
x. siblings = none
x. pets = none

last...
x. movie you rented = been a long long time.. hm
x. movie you bought = Two Weeks Notice.. haha
x. song you listened to = Ryan Adams- Cry on Demand is on now
x. song that was stuck in your head = The End by Ryan Adams
x. song you've downloaded = I downloaded the Buffallo Ryan Adams show last night
x. cd you bought = i ordered Gold and Demolition cds by Ryan Adams.. because i didn't wan to only have mp3s..
x. cd you listened to = Ryan Adams- Demolition ( do you see a trend here?)
x. person you called = My mom earlier today
x. person that has called you = Adam Ramsey... sweetest message..
x. tv show you've watched = Real World- Austin
x. person you were thinking of = I've been thinking about a couple.. but right now my heart really goes out to Adam Ramsey, and I think about him and hope that he is okay, and cant wait to talk to him.

x. you have a bf or gf = nooo sir
x. you have a crush on someone = ohhhh yeah
x. you wish you could live somewhere else = yes an no.. but i am jealous that so many people are rellocating to LA.
x. you think about suicide = never
x. you believe in online dating = no
x. others find you attractive = sure
x. you want more piercings = i have always wanted my eye brow pierced.. but have always been too chicken.. so i don't think i'll ever get one.. now that med school interviews are approaching
x. you want more tattoos = no.
x. you do drugs = no
x. you smoke ciggs = no
x. you like cleaning = nope.. but i like having my desk clean.. or i can't study.. so it requires cleaning
x. you like roller coasters = never been on one.. unless you count splash mountain
x. you write in cursive or print = print
x. you carry a donor card = no
x. long distance relationships = 1. would have to be within driving distance.. even if we could split the distance or 2. if it was with someone who i adored so much that i would rather be long distance than nothing at all
x. using someone = no
x. killing people = awful
x. teenage smoking = awful
x. doing drugs = uh.. not really
x. premarital sex = not for casual purposes
x. driving drunk = awful
x. gay/lesbian relationships = wonderful
x. soap operas = the young and the restless and the bold and the beautiful.. 10 years ago

favorite...
x. food = russian, mexican
x. song = hmm.. Anything by Ryan Adams
x. thing to do = go to concerts
x. thing to talk about = medicine, ryan adams, life
x. sports = basketball, football, tennis, volleyball, ping pong, badmitton.. i love sports
x. drinks = arizona green tea, yummy froofy coffee drinks, stewarts peach soda, upland beer, white russians... i can go on forever
x. clothes = i love jeans and skirts.. shirts that are open on the top.. but not too slutty.. things that feel good on my body and make me feel sexy.
x. movies = romantic comedies, and a lot of movies that came out this past year.. lost in translation, love actually, garden state, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind...
x. band = RYAN ADAMS
x. holiday = thanksgiving
x. cars = I want a Lexus SUV when i'm a doctor.

have you...
x. ever cried over a girl = when i was younger.. friends who are girls
x. ever cried over a guy = sooo much
x. ever lied to someone =yes
x. ever been in a fist fight = hmm.. a pu sh fight maybe
x. ever been arrested = nope.. although leaving deer creek after mellencamp.. katie ly was threatened with arrest if we dind't turn around

what...
x. shampoo do you use = redken.. and it smells great
x. perfume do you use = Ralph Lauren- Romance and Chanel- Chance
x. shoes do you wear = flip flops as much as i can.. preferrably Teva's
x. are you scared of = losing people

number...
x. of times I have been in love? hmm interesting question
x. of times I have had my heart broken? = 2 times
x. of hearts I have broken? = i don't think i seriously broke anyones
x. of continents I have lived in? = 2, north america, and europe
x. of drugs taken illegally? = if alcohol underage is 1, then 2.
x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = jeff and scotty.. and maybe others, but those two are very trustworthy
x. of people I consider my enemies? = nothing i can think of
x. people from high school that I stayed in contact with? = several.. some people i have come to get to know better while being in college.
x. of cd's that I own? = a lot
x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = if we are talking about IDS.. maybe 5-10
x. of scars on my body? = hmm none
x. of things in my past that I regret? = nothing really... i think everything is a learning experience
 
     

(read me the letter baby)

 
   
01:03am 25/06/2005
  gonna make it short.. because i'm tired.

work= eh.. okay but could be better

healthyness= lost 9 pounds as of today

stuff= saw george lopez at the murat with katie last night. Tonight i had dinner with meredith and then went to see bewitched with my mom. Amy Sedaris made a little appearance which was cool.

big news= applied to medical school! woo! finally done with the amcas... now all i have to do is wait. Applied to 5 schools.. only really want to get into University of Chicago and Indiana University

music= have been listening to a lot of ryan still, as well as the old kings of leon cd

concerts= going to lollapalooza in chicago!!!!

friends= katie ly has been my savior this summer.. i'd be bored to tears if she wasn't here. Buddy got IM... it means a lot to me that we keep in touch and that he still calls once in awhile. I miss him.

tomorrow= john mellencamp with who else but Katie Ly.. I am excited, should be a fabulous show.

that's all.
 
     

(2words | read me the letter baby)

 
stretch out underneath the stars and when tomorrow comes i will back you up..   
10:53pm 15/06/2005
 
music: ryan adams- what sin
lets see....

last saturday Katie Ly and I went downtown for the Independent Music and Arts Festival. It was pretty alright.. the art was interesting and the bands were tolerable. We left the fest for awhile and went to YATS on Mass Ave.. Mmm... yummy food. Good atmosphere. I feel like once I turn 21 all of these things are going to open up to me, and I will get to explore different places and have good times ( at least I hope).

The personal statement is coming along.. I am hoping to have it done and sent out by middle of next week. I should have been done months ago, but my motivation only comes in small bursts. I've gotten some great help... I really appreciate everyones comments and criticisms... ( thanks harmony!!)

work is pretty good. Its a pretty great job.. I just hope that I will have it for the whole summer, as promised. I love the girl that was hired with me.. Katie.. she's awesome, and we get along very well.. and keep each other sane.

I also love getting money... that makes me happy. I have bought some things.. such as a very short and hot jean skirt .. to reward myself for sticking to the losing weight... and i ordered the last 2 ryan adams cds that i was missing. I just can't only have the mp3s.. so now i have all of his 6 solo albums.. and then Jacksonville City Nights comes out the first week of august. Woo.

Also.. bought my dad a great present for fathers day, which made me happy.

This summer overall has been pretty good so far... once i send out the aamcas application.. i will feel a lot more relief and relaxation knowing that its done ( until the secondaries come back..) I haven't done any talking to agents this week.. so I need to get on that asap..

Overall, I really miss school. Its pretty lonely here. I've liked the time i spend with my family, and having katie ly in town has been nice... but overall I miss the constant hustle and bustle of btown.

Looking forward to goign to philly in a couple weeks.. and then no time at all until my bday aka vegasss!

tired.. night!
 
     

(3words | read me the letter baby)

 
   
10:52pm 11/06/2005
  oooh this is fun!


First, randomly name 20 people you know

1. keith
2. Levy
3. ty
4. brad
5. atticus
6. roby
7. ami
8. katie ly
9. jeff
10. jake
11. scotty
12. kathleen g
13. pittman
14. cory
15. joel
16. colin
17. david
18. nick
19. Al
20. La La Clemmons

-Who is #8 going out with? no one

-Is #9... no

-Would #11 and #2 be cute together? haha.. scotty and levy.. well at least they are both jewish so the mothers would approve.. but no. they are not gay

-How about #18 and #4? neither are gay

-What grade is #17 in? going into 4th year of college, but not a senior credit wise..


-When was the last time you talked to #12? this week actually.. wednesday.. we went to clay terrace and walked around and got coffee.. i love kathleen!

-What is #6's favorite band? roby loves.. jason mraz, john mayer, ryan adams.. and other cool things.


-Does #1 have any siblings? yep an older brother

-Would you ever date #3? haha NO... co's before bros and hoes

-Would you ever date #7? haha.. no i'm not a lesbian

-Is #16 single? yes he is..

-What's #13's last name? pittman is her last name.. kristina is her first

-What's #5's middle name? i didn't know but i just asked .. and it is monroe.. atticus monroe..

-What's #10's fantasy? ooh i don't know.. but probably something to do with music and hot women

-Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? once again.. not gay.. but they get along as friends.

-What school does #20 go to? IU

-Tell me a random fact about #11. scotty is the sweetest in the world and very loyal

-And #1. keith wants to be a politician in california


-And #3. his middle name is Cotter...


-Have you ever had a crush on #16? not technically a crush.. but i think he's a fun cute guy and...

-Where does #9 live? originally from little rock , arkansas... then went to school at Indiana University.. and now is working at Monterrey peninsual artists in Moneterrey, CA .. i miss buddy!!

-What's #4's favorite color? i don't know.. maybe red

-Would you makeout with #14? hehe cory.. i probably would.. beacuse he's fun and cute.. but i'd have to be drunk

-Are #5 & #6 best friends? nope

-Does #7 like #20? uhm.. they are cool with each other

-Does #8 like #19? yeah! they were co assistant directors of promotions for concerts this past semester.. they are good buds

-How did you meet #15? ooh good one.. we met in mexico on vacations with our families. Started hanging out a bit, finished the week off with some hot hammock time and are now good messaging online friends.

-Does #10 have any pets? no... although there is that metal lizard thing in his house.

-Is #12 older than you? Yyeppers... kathleens birthday was january 21st and she turned 21

-Have you ever given #4 a hug? yeppers.. yey brad.

-Is #17 the sexiest person alive? no.. but he's cute
 
     

(read me the letter baby)

 
i ain't got nothing but love for you now...   
11:17pm 06/06/2005
 
music: Ryan Adams- The End
what up kids?

i worked all day, and it was pretty alright. I really like where I work, it is the exactly the kind of job that I wanted, and I am learning things, and I get to dress nicely to work every day. The downside is.. 40 hours a week proves a little tiring, but oh well the money is appealing and the first pay check is thursdaaaay.

Today I called several agents and started putting together some numbers for offers. I really hope to get some offers out this summer, so that when we come back for the school year we have something to offer the committee members.

Ty and I called.. Monterrey Peninsula Artists and asked to speak to jeffrey hasson*we had some legitimate concerts business to discuss with him*. The woman who answered the phone was like.. what is this pertaining to? Have you spoken to jeffrey before? It was so funny.. kinda ilke that commercial SMITTTY.. where a guy who just graduated is working at a job, and his roomies are calling him about random stuff.. because they are still in college.

my dad and i went running outside tonight at like 10 p.m. .. hehe I love my parents.

Lets see, a lot of things that I have been thinking about lately is friendships. I think now more than ever I am finding out who is important to me, and who I am important too. THis is a special thing. I know that I don't need to talk to people every day, or live clsoe to them, to know that the friendship will remain.

On the flip side.. this year really brought me realizations.. of how some people can be. I've felt a lot of dissapointment in people that I thought I was close to, and surprisingly and almost out of character for me.. I have realized that it doesn't bother me to let go.

that's about it for tonight.. I wish i was more of a writer, then my personal statement would already be done and I would be able to spit out my feelings a lot easier.

night :-)
 
     

(4words | read me the letter baby)

 
if loving you is a dream, that's not worth having.. then why do i dream of you?   
11:31pm 05/06/2005
  first of all.. i had an eye doctor appt on saturday and ordered a new sexy pair of glasses. I am excited. I never though I would find glasses that I liked more than my current ones. Yey for glasses.

I went down to bloomington yesterday, and it could not have been a better and more packed trip.

From the second I parked my car at first and henderson .. I was already in a good mood because neighbor sean was on the porch and I got to catch up with him.

I then picked Keith up and we went to laughing planet for some lunch. I enjoyed seeing him and it was great to sit down and talk for awhile.

I then headed to the ub office... with a mission to clean my desk. I saw john bogeman randomly.. and then scotty was in the office as well. I cleaned my desk and headed out.

After reading for awhile on my porch and seeing the likes of Johnny B who was randomly driving by... I went to Bryan Park with.. Al, Mary, Ian, and Dave.. to watch some jazz ensembles. It was beautiful outside. We sat on a blanket, enjoyed the music, and played on the play ground. I saw several people that i haven't seen in awhile, and that was quite enjoyable.

After the concert.. Pitty, CHristine and I went to Scotties for some drinks and food. before we even waked in I bumped into Rachel, Sacobrie, Amy and Allen. THat was a pleasant surprise. Then I see Bradley who is jeff/jake/drew/nate's roomie. We talked for awhile and then the girls and I got our table in the bar area.

I wasn't planning on drinking that night.. so i didn't at scotties.. but then the evening began to unfold. Drew was working the door at the bird.. and 17th floor was playing. All of us ended up going to the bird, and having a wonderful time. I was happy because I got to hang out and drink and say bye to Jake and Drew before they move to LA in a few weeks. A lot of great people were at the bird. BOO was there, Jake/Drew/Nate/Dave Tann , Lauren Weinberg, Mzilikazi, and a lot more that I am blanking on.

It was amazing to let loose and allow myself to get drunk and have a great time. I don't do it too often, and haven't in a long time. I welcomed the fun times.

The only thing that kinda put a downer on my night, was that it was weird to be around all of Jeff's roomies and friends.. and he was not there. I was half expecting him to walk in at any minute, but alas california is far away. I did talk to him though at some point in the night, and he wished that he was at the bird with us too. I miss my friend :-(.

I danced, I drank a lot ( but not enough to feel sick .. yey!), I said bye to some great people who graduated and are now moving on to new places, new graduate schools, and new jobs.

Scotty walked me home.. and tucked me into bed. Needless to say it didn't take much for me to fall asleep.

Today.. I got up .. got my car from the square, ran a few errands.. and went to lunch and played tennis with scotty.. THe last stop in my bloomington stay was .. a meeting with Ty and Matt from Sports.

There is a project that we are going to work on together for the fall. I am very excited, and I think it has the potential to be amazing.

I left bloomington as fast as I could.. and still managed to drive through a crazy storm.

I enjoyed watching grey's anatomy, and now i'm looking at various medical schools online.

I think now more than ever I know that i want to be a doctor, but now more than ever I am scared about the future.

Goals for this week: work a lot lot lot on my personal statement, and hopefully get the aamcas out. Also, I am commiting to strict dieting.. no more.. cheating here and there. I am taking charge.

Work tomorrow..

NIGHT.
 
     

(4words | read me the letter baby)

 
one more kiss before i go..   
10:52pm 01/06/2005
  yesss. tomorrow is already thursday. That means there are only 2 days left in the work week. I really like my job. I enjoy meeting patients, and I am picking up a lot of lingo. I also now have an assortment of pens... viagra, cialis, and levitra. yesss for working in a urology office. Oh and terms like.. Vas ( vasectomy), KUB's, PSA counts.. etc.. have become part of my daily vernacular. Also, another girl that was hired at the same time with me is pretty awesome. Her name is Katie, and she is a pre med at georgetown. We get along well, as well as other staff members have really warmed up to us.. this all makes for an enjoyable atsmosphere.

I suppose there is not really a point to this update. I am really craving some male affection. I feel like i haven't had opportunities to dress up and look cute and flirt in soooooooooo long. I need it. :-)

I am very very very much looking forward to going to btown on saturday. I have an eye doctor appointment early that day.. and that will be cool because I get to pick out a new pair of glasses. I love the glasses i got last year, and i don't really know how i am going to like another pair as much, but we shall see.


I realllly hate missing ppl. For the most part i am all good.. but then i'll be sitting at a stop light or listening to a song.. and I just remember that things will never be the same again.. they may be better or worse.. but they will never be the same.

I am so excited about turning 21. It is coming up in less than 2 months. I am not all that excited about the drinking aspect.. although I am really happy that I won't have to feel paranoid about drinking.. I can just sit back and relax at parties and not worry about cops busting. I am more excited though about.. being able to go to places and go out. Future roomie katie and i have talked about going to nashville, TN for a day or so.. when she turns 21 in september, and i love downtown louisville and would love to spend a night there going to a show and going out.

I feel like next year will be amazing. i know its too early to start thinking/talking about it now, because there is so much summer left.. but I just feel it. I am goin to be unihibited, and so about doing everything that i want and can do.

I listened a lot to jack johnson's latest cd tonight.. i have to say i like it very much, just as much as his last 2. He's awesome.

ryan adams is forever number one.. and if you haven't checked him out.. you are crazy.
 
     

(3words | read me the letter baby)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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